But since my granddaughter, Ashley died, I have had a difficult time writing. My journal has sat idle. My blog has but a few entries since that fateful day. Letters have been far and few between. I just can't seem to get out onto paper what I am thinking, feeling---living.
My therapist (yes-I have one) says that I should really try to force myself to write. She says getting these feelings down on paper and out of my head will be good therapy. That once they are out and not swirling around inside that I will feel better, more whole.
I struggle with what to write about. Should all my posts be about Ashley, and how this terrible accident changed our family forever? Dare I write about simple things like my garden or the hummingbirds outside the kitchen window, or my feelings on not wanting to start school back up again in 3 weeks! Does it diminish Ashley's life, and awful death if I write or talk about something else?
I need to write. I need to journal. I need to. So I am pushing myself outside of my comfort zone to start back up again. It may be shaky at first. But with God's help I am going to start this homework assignment.
I am sure many of the posts will refer to Ashley. She was such a big person in our lives that it would be hard not to include her. I am looking forward to seeing what God lays on my heart to put down on paper
First subject......summers in Colorado
You write about what you are thinking and doing. You, of course, write about Ashley! As much as you want! This is YOUR blog and it is about what is going on with YOU! and those you love. Ashley is a treasured one in your life. You have many treasured ones. but she is on your heart so much just now. writing about her keeps her near and shares her with others so we all get to know her. How special is that?!!! Write on my friend...it's one of the things you do, one of the things you love, one of the ways God uses to heal. I will keep praying!!!
ReplyDeleteSometimes not writing means someone else misses comfort, reassurance, strength, or affirmation that only your words might give at any given moment. Sometimes the urge to write is from God, and He plans on using your words of joy, grief, mirth, or even puzzlement to fit into someone else's day. It happens to me; I am unimpressed by my own writing, but that imperfection is still of use to others; we were meant to speak, write, look that look of understanding or sparkle of suppressed laughter. We need not only His Word, but words that mean something to us to be made available to someone we may not know, but who really, really needs them. So, sister, write on!
ReplyDeleteIt's Sept 25th and I was just checking my friends blogs and was delighted to see that you had written. Yes, write about anything! Hummingbirds, gardens, and especially Ashley. Reading your thoughts is healthy for us (as readers) as well. Quite often I think we have the same thoughts as others, but think we are the only ones. So I encourage you to write away!
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