My Ladies

So I have this thing about chickens. I would say that my hens are my favorite pets by far in all my many years of having animals. They are smart, and sweet and give me little presents each day just because. They eat all of my kitchen leftovers and keep the grass trimmed all around their pen. The hens are loyal to their rooster and always follow his lead when he scratches up a tidbit of food or a fat, juicy worm in the chicken yard.

But now my roosters....they are a different story. I have two guys out there among the 18 hens. They are macho and cocky and they strut around the yard like they own everything in site. When we go into the pen to collect eggs or to feed them, we have to carry some kind of weapon in our hands to ward the little buggers off! We rarely make contact with them, just swing the club around and yell kind of loud. But the black rooster in the picture is a hard learn. He almost always goes for one of us, pecking or flying at us with his spurs~~an extra claw on the back of his leg that are used for fighting.

When I was younger, my kinda "rough around the edges" cousin took me to a cock fight in Southern Illinois where the good ole boys lived. The farmers would pit their roosters against each other for a fight and bet on the outcome. Some had razor blades tied on to their spurs, so the injuries were severe. It was awful. The winning rooster would leave with their owner's wallet bulging with winnings. The losers were usually dinner that night.

But I have to admit when that little rooster starts coming at me with his spurs flying, I consider how he would do with a few well positioned razor blades.

Fall cleaning

We had our first killing frost this week. It was very late in coming this year...we sometimes have had snow by now, so to still have the flowers blooming and the veg. garden still producing was a great thing. But I am ready to be done with the gardens for a little while.

Today I will clean out all of the old, dead geraniums that I planted this spring. They are all around the guest house in planters that my husband and boys built a few years back. The past two years I have planted bright red geraniums all around the house and they look so beautiful all year long...from a distance.

Geraniums are not the most beautiful flower close up. You can't put them in bouquets because they shatter and they don't have a very pretty scent. No one chooses a geranium nosegay to carry down the aisle at their wedding. They are just not that kind of flower. But plant them in a flower bed and give them a little room and lots of sunshine and water, and they will be one of the most rewarding flowers you will ever plant. They bloom ALL summer---and I do mean ALL. The colors get more brilliant as the weather gets cooler, and their green leaves are very smart looking next to their brightly colored blooms.

I will be sad to tear my geranium buddies out today, but I know their cousins will show up next spring ready to outdo their counterparts.

I will be placing about 200 daffodil and tulip bulbs in their place. Deep in the soil these little treasures will sleep, waiting for those first warm days of spring to awaken them. These flowers are such a miracle to me. If you have ever been to Colorado in the winter, you know how very cold it can get and just how very much snow we have...even in April and May. But right on cue, as if God whispers in their ears, those sweet little green shoots appear as the temperature rises and in a few days you will see the first flowers of the spring. Bright yellows and deep reds. I love them. Such a gift after a very long winter wait! 

I plant now in October for the promise I look forward to in May.

Sleep

Sleep is an elusive thing in my life. I don't know quiet what it is? My bedroom is calm and inviting. I have beautiful quilts keeping me warm and cozy and I even have a Percale pillowcase on my yummy feather pillow.I am tired when I retire, and I read a few minutes before my eyes start to droop. I fall asleep just fine...the problem is the staying asleep!

Most nights I don't sleep past 3am. Some nights I don't even make it till 1am. I wake up and look at the clock, sink back down between the covers, and try my hardest to fall back asleep. It is usually no use. I toss. I turn. I get up and visit the bathroom. But sleep does not return for me in my cozy little bed.

Years ago when this first started happening, I used to get up and get myself a cup of Sleep-time Tea, grab a warm afghan my mom made me, and pick up the book that I was reading at the time. I would head out to the quiet living room and read for hours at a time in the pre-dawn darkness. I read the entire Anne of Green Gables series that winter---right down to Anne's grandchildren. It was great...but I was so tired! I really just wanted to sleep.

Then I read in Ladies Home Journal that the worse thing you could do for insomnia was to GET OUT OF BED! You were suppose to lay there, and sleep would eventually come. NOT. Night after night the clock would say 3:00am...I was laying in the dark wondering when this magic of sleep would return, and Anne was having adventures without me.

Then someone suggested that maybe God was waking me up so I could pray or listen to something He was impressing on my heart. I wanted to tell that kind person that I was sure God knew I had 23 kids that would be waking up in a few hours for breakfast and school and that I was sure HE wanted me to have enough sleep so I did not strangle any of those kids because of sleep deprivation. But I did start to pray. I prayed for those kids. I did the VanWingerden Rosary as my Aunt Rose calls it. I would start with the oldest child and pray down the list of all the children. I would pray for general things like safety and health and also specific things like "Lord, I know that Justin has been lying to me about.....help me to catch him Lord in his lying." "I think that Susie is doing something wrong behind my back Lord....show me what!" You see I was being covert in my prayers---praying for kids to trip up so their sin would find them out!!!

Now don't get me wrong...my kids aren't that wicked...well not all of them. But I found the middle of the night to be the best time to unload to God my fears and suspicions about parenting. And most times I would fall asleep before I got to the bottom of the VW Rosary.

I had to switch that up after awhile cause the older kids were getting all the prayers and the "catch them in the act, Lord" while the younger ones were flying by under the radar!!I would fall asleep before I would get to their name on the list!  But it did seem to help me to fall back asleep...sometimes after a very long while..but at least for a little bit before the day would begin. I felt better when I got up after I had given to God all of my fears and concerns. And I would usually have some incite on what to do with a particular child.

I still have problems with sleep and after all these years, I have added to my list 14 grandkids, daughter and son in laws, and of course the 23 kids are still there. Just because you are grown and moved out does not mean you loose your place on the Rosary!

Being committed!

So----If I were to tell you that writing a blog takes commitment, would you believe me? If I were to tell you that the best intentions in the world will never get a blog written would you agree? If I were to tell you that I have the best intentions but no commitment, I know you would believe that! I have ended so many days these past few months with the nagging thought that I did not write in the blog again, and I should have. "I will do it in the morning!" was what I answered. "I promise!"

But a day would go by, then three and pretty soon it would be a week or two and nothing written. Nada---not nary a word. But today I found a moment of time, when I could sit here at the keyboard and write. And I can't really think of anything worth saying. Aaron Shust has a song that says "Give me words to speak, don't let my spirit sleep, cause I can't think of anything worth saying..." Life has been sad lately for many loved ones and friends, and I guess the weight of their sorrow is pushing hard on me. Nightmares have been my companion for the past few nights, and my thoughts have been consumed during the day with the burden these people carry and my part in sharing it with them. Sickness has visited our family for nearly a month and I am worn down by coughing and feeling miserable.

But I look out at the snow capped mountains and the beautiful fall colors and I have to smile and thank God for it all. It is such a comfort to see Him in the nature that surrounds me here in Colorado. Every day I am blessed to have a stunning view of Pikes Peak and the amazing Black Forest that surrounds our home. We have deer and squirrels and an occasional fox that visit us. The wildflowers in the meadow are so amazing.  A sign on my dining room wall says 'The Mountains Shall Bring Peace to the People' and how true that is for me. I do have peace even when I feel turmoil. I know who holds the future and I know I am in His hands. And in that I will rest.

And as for the blog---I will try to do better at writing more often and keeping you up to date. I always feel better after I have written...maybe that fact in itself will get me to do it on a more consistent basis.